Friday, January 27, 2012

Deep

I wonder what it means to get married and love someone for the rest of your life.
Seeing my parents like this, I really wonder if it'll be the same for me in future. I don't think loving someone for a long time can be considered an easy task. After awhile, more and more flaws are revealed and you have to accept them. Accepting flaws has never been easy for me because, I admit, I'm a pretty fucked up person. Yes, I'm learning to look at flaws in a different way, I sure am. That's because I don't want to lose the people I have now...But I'm not sure if it's the same for others.

Once again, it's never easy to love someone for a long time. Even though I can't say I have much experience...
It's not easy to live with another person, embrace their flaws, accept their bad temper, and also to devote their feelings wholly to the other half. Maybe once in a while the heart will be led astray...and that's a challenge too, to the relationship.

I don't think I've ever felt more sad over my parents' quarrel before. I don't know why but this time was exceptionally impactful for me. Maybe it's the spilled tea, chicken rice scattered all over the floor or the chair with a broken leg. Or maybe it's the fact that they mentioned divorce again.
I don't know why but seeing them quarrel makes me think so much about love. I strongly believe that my parents love each other because I've heard of how they spoke about each other and I can sense love in their tone and their eyes. If they are splitting up after 21 going on 22 years of marriage just because of a business...I'd do anything to stop it because it really isn't worth it.

Sigh, so many things on my mind...
So little words to express how I feel...

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