Sunday, July 8, 2012

Too much to handle

You know that feeling when you're just so tired of what people think of you but you can't help it?

I guess I'm pretty self-conscious.
I know how all this looks like. People will prolly think "wow look that girl got over her ex within less than a month AGAIN."
I guess this is just me..
When I've fought the hardest I could to salvage a relationship and to no avail, I'll let it go.
Yes, let go. That's what everyone told me to do. To me, the more hurt I am, the easier it is for me to let go. I won't look back, I won't have anymore hopes for it. Yet, why does it seem like letting go is the wrong thing to do? Why is it that people are judging me for moving on?
Sure I fell for him a little too quickly. We were in the same situation and we understood each other perfectly. But there was more than that. We could clique well, we weren't awkward on our first date, he makes me smile just by thinking of him... You get what I mean.
Maybe I fall in love too easily, so easy that even I hate myself for it sometimes. But I can't help it. I really can't. The feelings just come to me and I did not ignore it.

But one thing's for sure. Neither of us let anyone down.
Yep, we went ahead with our feelings, texted each other everyday for the past week, but we are both single.
Our ex dumped us.
So who exactly are we letting down?
Maybe he should have observed the bro code and not go after his friend's ex. But in my perspective, he's really like picking up a trash. I know, I'll call myself trash because its the best way to explain this situation. They say "One man's trash is another man's treasure." I was unwanted, dumped. So why is it wrong that he saw something in me and picked me up from where I was?

I choose to believe that you are worried that we'll make the wrong choice, that we'll treat each other as rebounds and get hurt in the end. I choose to believe that all these assumptions and hurtful words came out of care and good intentions.
I treasure my friends as much as I treasure him. And he too, cherishes you guys more than anything.

I'm in no position to say anything more.
But just think about it, neither of us has been this happy since one month ago. None (few) of you saw how broken we were. Sure, I fell in love too quickly, but I ended up holding on the longest. I loved until it became too difficult to. So I think how fast I get over someone and how quickly I fall for someone doesn't determine how long I can stay in love with a person (not sure if this is a concern too).

Anyhoo, I just hope you guys will see. Anyway it's not like we're getting together or what. It's really just feelings and dating, for now.