Thursday, December 8, 2011


If paranoia is a kind of insecurity, I swear I'll be the most insecure person ever.
A simple comment on a facebook status or a tweet can get my mind working all night. The first thought that comes to my head will be: "Is it talking about me?"
Even if that person is someone I couldn't care less about, I still can't help it. I'm programmed like this.
Born this way. It's not that I'm thick-skinned and think that the whole world revolves around me, it's just how my brain works...

I hate my paranoid self. And hate is merely an understatement. Can't remember how many times I wished to be less paranoid so that I can give myself a break. It really doesn't feel good.
The worst part is whenever I feel paranoid, I don't really tell people about it much because again, I'm paranoid that they might think I'm being lame or "just being paranoid again".

Besides this, I'm really self conscious. Whenever I make decisions, the first thought that comes to me will be "What will people think of me?"
Like clothes, bags, hairstyle, etc especially. These things give me so much headache. I wish I could be like those cool girls out there who wouldn't give two fucks about what people think of them.

I think it's only then that I can be truly happy and worry-free.

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